


Experiments Gone Wrong?

by HollsteinFF



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, High!Carmilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:42:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5711284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollsteinFF/pseuds/HollsteinFF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>LaFontaine decides to run a little experiment on Carmilla while Laura is away for reading week. When high!Carmilla calls her girlfriend afterward, Laura doesn't know what to expect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experiments Gone Wrong?

**Author's Note:**

> So I promised a one-shot for the 1000 kudos mark! Sorry it took so long. Been super busy!!! Enjoy!
> 
> Prompt from anon:
> 
> High as fuck Carmilla tries to have phone sex with her girlfriend Laura only to end up telling her hilarious pickup lines and random cute high things. Example: hey babe, you can call me Kanye, because Imma let you finish. (oh my god Carmilla, do you even know Kanye?) Hey babe are you sure you weren’t raised on a chicken farm? (Yes, why? What even-- ?) Because you sure do know how to raise a cock. (CARMILLA KARNESTEIN YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ONE OF THOSE!)Oh my God! Quick it’s an emergency! (Carmilla, what’s wrong? ARE YOU OKAY?) My dick just died, can I bury it in your ass? Excuse me are you sure you are not a Triwizard Champion. (Oh so you’ve read Harry Potter) Because you sure do set my goblet on FIIIIRE, Laura… totally on fire! ((Just please, high Carmilla... I'll love you forever and ever and ever))

Laura massaged the back of her neck with her free hand, the other hand still attempting to type away at the paper that was due upon her arrival back to Silas. What good was a break if you had to spend it doing homework? And okay, maybe she deserved it, because she _had_ decided that battling a cult of vampires and an evil fish god were more important than English Lit. And maybe she really, _really_ owed Danny a _huge_ favor for letting her submit the paper late. But still. Reading week wasn’t the same knowing that most of her time would be spent writing a stupid paper instead of spending time with her father.

She wished Carmilla had come back with her, but the vampire had been adamant that _meeting the father_ was _not_ on the top of her to-do list. And it was probably a good thing. She didn’t really know how to break that news to her dad anyway. Besides, Laf was probably keeping Carmilla lots of company because Perry was away as well. Her phone buzzed on her desk. Speak of the devil.

 **LaFonbrain** : Hey L, don’t kill me okay?

Odd.

 **Laura** : Why would I kill you?

 **LaFonbrain** : I _may_ have conducted a small experiment on your girlfriend.

 **Laura** : What?!?! Laf what did you do?

Her phone started buzzing like crazy.

 **LaFonbrain** : I just wanted to test the effectiveness! I didn’t expect _these_ results!!

 **Laura** : What results Laf? OMG?

Her phone rang. Carmilla’s bored face popped up on the screen and she slid the answer button. “Oh my god, Carm are you okay?”

 _Babbbbyyyyy,_ Carmilla whined _. “I think Laf turned me into a zombie._

“OH MY GOD! WHAT?”

 _Yeah,_ Carmilla said smoothly. _It must be that, because all I can think about right now is how much I want to eat you._

Laura paused. “Wait what?” Her cheeks flushed at the context. “Um, Carm? Can you put Laf on the phone please?”

_Laf isn’t here, Laura. Just me._

“Wait, Laf turned you into a zombie and just _left_ you there alone?” Laura gasped. _What the fuck?_ “Look, go find Laf and put them on the phone.”

_God Laura, you’re so selfish._

Laura froze. “What? How am I selfish?” Carmilla was being really confusing.

_You’re going to have that body for the rest of your life. I just want it for one night._

Laura frowned. “So you can eat me? No thanks! Damn it Carm. PUT LAF ON THE PHONE!”

Carmilla giggled. _Giggled_.

 _Carmilla_ giggled. What in God’s name had Laf done?

_Look Laura, I may not go down in history, but I promise I’ll go down on you. You can call me Kanye, I promise I’ll let you finish first._

Laura’s eyebrows furrowed. She was _finally_ catching on to what her girlfriend was getting at. “Carmilla, do you even know who Kanye is?” Laura shook her head. Carmilla was acting strange, but she was pretty positive that Laf hadn’t turned the girl into a zombie. “Carm, I have to go. I’ve got to finish this paper. Find Laf and tell them to undo whatever they did.”

_Paper shmaper. Look so you got a bad grade, that just means that this D I’m about to give you won’t hurt so much._

Laura’s eyes shot open wide. “Carmilla Karnstein!” She felt heat pool in her stomach. God, seriously? Was she _that_ desperate for her girlfriend’s touch that rude pick up lines were turning her on?

Carmilla chuckled. _What are you wearing baby? Cause I’m gonna need to you take it off. Can you do that for me? Just lie back on your bed and pretend your legs hate each other._

Laura bit her lip. She really shouldn’t be entertaining this. She _had_ to finish this paper. And her father was just downstairs. “Carm, I’m wearing my PJs already. And I really have to go.”

_But I’d rather see you cum. Come on cupcake. Just turn that annoying little webcam on and show me how good those clothes look on your bedroom floor._

Laura couldn’t help but smile. “I’ll Skype you, but _only_ to make sure Laf hasn’t really turned you into a zombie.” She pulled up the application and called Carmilla. The girl answered on the first ring and her girlfriend’s face popped up in the call window. Carmilla’s eyes looked weird. Vacant almost, and there was a dopey smile on her face. “Are you okay?”

Carmilla stared at Laura’s nipples through the thin white tank top. _Baby your tits remind me of Mount Rushmore. Cause I think my face needs to be among them._

Laura’s eyes narrowed. She could feel the blush burning even hotter in her cheeks. “My eyes are up here Carm,” she said tersely.

_Baby I think I’m lost._

What the hell? “Carm you’re in our dorm room.”

_But I thought paradise was just a little further south…_

Laura blinked. “Cute, Carm. Very cute. And now I really need to go.” She couldn’t take anymore of Carmilla’s teasing. She was getting ridiculously turned on. And she couldn’t have phone sex – or computer sex – with her girlfriend while her dad was downstairs.

 _Wait cupcake!_ Carmilla almost shouted. _I forgot how to spell!_

Seriously? What the fuck had Laf done to her girlfriend? “What on earth are you talking about?”

_Spell me._

Laura blinked. “M. E. Carmilla. You spell _me_ M. E.”

_You forgot the D._

Laura huffed. “Carm there’s no D in me.”

_Not yet there isn’t, but give me a few minutes and there will be._

Laura burst out laughing. “What the actual fuck Carm? Seriously where’s Laf? I’m starting to worry about you? They didn’t um – they didn’t give you a _penis_ did they?”

_No, but they did give me the overwhelming urge to try taxidermy._

Laura shook her head. “What?”

_Yeah, so can you come home already so I can practice stuffing your pussy?_

Laura closed her eyes. The image of Carmilla strapping one on and plowing into her was quickly moving to the forefront of her brain. “Carm,” she whined. “You can’t say things like that. You’re all the way across the world right now. Stop trying to turn me on.”

Carmilla chuckled. _Trying? I never do anything half-assed sweetheart. Now what do you say you put that laptop at the end of your bed, wiggle out of those Doctor Who pajamas and show me the box I’m supposed to put this package in._

Laura bit her lip. Was she _seriously_ considering this? “Carm, I don’t know. My dad is downstairs. You know he’ll come investigating if he hears anything strange."

Carmilla smirked. _We can be sneaky baby. Look, I’ll go find a UPS uniform, and you can let me in your back door._ She raised her eyebrow in defiance.

“Oh my god,” Laura groaned. “Carm stop. Seriously.”

 _Okay okay,_ Carmilla huffed. _You’re not into casual sex. I get it. Let me go find a tux and we can call it formal sex._

The image of Carmilla in a tux made heat flood into Laura’s core. She bit her lip. Her hand moved unwittingly between her legs and began to slowly tease at her clit before she realized what she was doing.

Carmilla smirked again. Obviously the girl had noticed the movement. _Babbbyyy, are you sure you weren’t brought up on a chicken farm?_

Laura’s eyebrows drew together. “What on earth? Yes, I’m sure. Why even…”

_Because you sure know how to raise a cock._

“CARMILLA KARNSTEIN! You don’t even have one of those!” She was vaguely scandalized. She shook her head.

Carmilla’s smirk widened. _Well I did, but it’s dead now. Can I bury it in your ass? That way you can keep a – not so little – part of me inside of you forever._

Laura dragged a hand down her face. “I’m hanging up now Carm.”

Carmilla’s face fell. Then she grinned. _But wait! I just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your g-spot!_

Laura laughed. Carmilla was almost acting _high_. She’d only ever really seen it at the Zeta parties. But it was definitely not out of the realm of possibilities. “Carm, I think you need to sleep whatever this is, off.”

Carmilla’s grin widened. _Aww I made you laugh._

Laura nodded. “Yes, yes you did. Thanks. I really needed that. I’ve been so stressed with this paper.”

_Well since I lifted your spirits a bit, how bout you lift that shirt off for me?_

Laura bit her lip. She grabbed the hem of her tank top. “You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.” She pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it to the ground. The way Carmilla’s hungry eyes were staring at her chest made her insides churn, so she slipped her hand back between her legs. She rubbed slow circles over her clit through her pajamas.

Carmilla’s eyes widened. _Laura_ , she purred.

Laura hummed. “Yeah?” she said breathlessly.

Carmilla licked her lips. _Let me watch…_

Laura bit her lip again. Then nodded. She picked the laptop up and set it on the end of her bed, then she wiggled out of her pajama pants and panties. She settled on the bed and spread her legs wide. Her fingers gently stroked across her clit and she just barely held in the moan that threatened to escape at the look of pure lust on Carmilla’s face. “Carm,” she whimpered. “Talk to me?”

Carmilla nodded. _Fuck Laura. God you’re so hot. I wish I could bury my face between your thighs right now. God I miss the way you taste._

Laura moaned softly. Her fingers picked up speed as her hips rose and fell. “Baby,” she whispered. “What would you do to me right now if you were here?”

Carmilla smirked. _I would tell you a joke about my cock, but it’s too long._ She winked.

Laura rolled her eyes. “I’m serious Carm.”

The vampire licked her lips. _I’d wrap those tight little legs of yours around my neck. Suck your clit into my mouth and pretend you were Type O flavored ice cream._

Laura moaned. That shouldn’t have been as sexy as it was. “Fuck,” she whispered, picturing her girlfriend doing just that.

Carmilla bit her lip. _Laura, roll over baby. Roll over and push up on your knees for me._

Laura groaned at the thought. She rolled over onto her stomach and pushed up on her knees. The hand between her legs was moving furiously. Fingers rubbing at her clit like she was trying to start a fire with friction alone. She heard Carmilla moan loudly at the sight. “Baby, shhh, my dad will hear you.” She was so close. The last thing she needed was her father walking in on _this._ Just a little more. “Baby please,” she begged.

_You been working out baby? That ass looks pretty tight. Want me to loosen it up?_

Laura moaned loudly. The thought of Carmilla taking her ass should _not_ be turning her on. She was sure that would probably be a painful experience. But when it was just words… She could feel her orgasm about to crash down on her.

 _God you’re bone structure is giving my_ bone _structure baby,_ Carmilla purred. _God Laura. I wanna see you go inside. Baby, please, I much as I love watching you pet that little pussy of yours, I fucking wanna watch you slam it home._

Laura groaned. She pushed two fingers inside and rode them like a fucking cowgirl. Her orgasm was so close. She shuddered hard and the arm holding her up gave out. Her face pushed into the mattress as the hand between her legs pumped her closer to her release.

_God baby if I was there right now I’d treat you like a fucking snow storm._

Laura groaned into the mattress. “Carm what on earth?”

_Give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to walk in the morning._

“Fuck. Carmilla. _Shut up!_ ” Laura’s orgasm washed over her. She jerked and shuddered against the bed, hips thrusting furiously to meet her pumping fingers. When she rolled back over, Carmilla was staring with her mouth hanging wide open.

_I think I have the munchies. All I wanna do it eat you right now._

Laura shook her head. Her phone buzzed across the room. She pulled her clothes back on and answered the call. “Laf what the _fuck_ did you do to my girlfriend?”

LaFontaine chuckled. _Dude. I’m so sorry. I just really wanted to know how catnip would affect her. I wasn’t expecting that!_

Laura rolled her eyes. “Are you fucking _kidding_ me? Cat nip? You gave my panther girlfriend CAT NIP?”

LaFontaine erupted in a fit of laughter. _Sorry frosh. It’ll wear off in a couple of hours. Promise._

“A couple of HOURS?!?” Laura looked back at the dopey grin on Carmilla’s face. She sighed. She was _never_ going to get this paper finished.

**Author's Note:**

> http://hollsteinFF.tumblr.com
> 
> @H0llst3inFF


End file.
